I can’t afford to attend your wedding!

Published 13 August 2026

Someone has turned down your wedding invite. Have you thought about why? During your wedding planning, have you ever considered whether your guests can afford to attend your wedding? According to a recent poll, millennials (born in the 80s and early 90s) are finding it especially difficult to afford to attend their friends’ weddings or other big events. (Zillow, Aug 2025)

Balancing Guests’ Costs and Your Wedding Plans

Ok, let’s delve into this. You may be paying for meals and a few drinks as part of your wedding plans, but there are three key areas where weddings can be costly for guests. When you’re planning your wedding, it’s important to think about:

1. Location, location, location

Weddings are often held at out-of-town venues or even out of region, which means travel. Yes, your guests could drive if they can afford to run a car. But what if you’re planning for everyone to stay in the same hotel so you can all get together for brekkie in the morning? More cost. And of course, if you’re expecting your guests to be at the same hotel as you, you’ve basically dictated what kind of hotel that is. Did you look at cheaper alternatives nearby? Or were you focussed on the five-star exclusive hotel with its high-priced rooms? 

TOP TIP: Do you know that many hotels will let you book just breakfast? This means you can get together in the morning without staying in the same hotel. Local and budget-conscious guests can still join you for breakfast. Yay!

2. Wedding gifts

Then there’s the gift. Some couples expect the equivalent value of what they’ve paid for their guests’ menu. With an average two/three course meal starting at £60 per head, is that what you’re hoping your guests will gift you? Obviously, some venues charge considerably more for a sit-down meal, but what’s your expectation? How would you feel if a guests gave you less than that, i.e. what they can actually afford?

I’ve seen an informal survey of reception attendees asking how much they would spend on a wedding gift. Many responded that £50 was their maximum. To them, £100 seemed super generous, and yet you see some of the “bridezilla” posts demanding a minimum contribution of £200+. I suggest it’s unreasonable for a couple to specify how much any guest should spend on them. It’s understandable when guests refuse to attend those weddings on that basis.

TOP TIP: The good old-fashioned gift list was great, as however much your guests spent, you knew you were getting what you wanted. We’ve moved away from that now, with more couples specifying cash, gift cards or something towards their honeymoon. This is fine, but some guests feel uncomfortable about the amount they’ve given being so obvious. Plus, I think it’s a bit sad when you don’t have something to unwrap after your wedding or party, but that’s just me.  I often rebel and give the couple a small gift as well as the requested cash.

3. Wedding outfits

There’s a lot of pressure on guests to make sure they’re wearing a brand-new outfit; you’ve got to be Instagram-ready, so you can’t be seen wearing something you’ve worn before. And that means cost. You can’t do anything about what the bulk of your guests decide to do about outfits. However, if you’re expecting bridesmaids or groomsmen to stump up for their own outfits and shoes, try to go for reasonably priced ideas.

TOP TIP: Freedom to choose!You could let the wedding party choose their own outfit within your colour palette. You cannot dictate that your bridesmaids and attendants spend hundreds on a one-use outfit in your choice of colour unless they are happy to do so.

Think like your wedding guests!

So, what can you do if a guest says they’d love to come but are concerned about the money?

Firstly, please don’t pressure your family and friends into spending more than they are comfortable with. Let them know you understand. Show that you’ve considered options by offering alternative hotels in the area or arranging taxis/lifts between your wedding venue and key hotels. Maybe include traditional gifts as options.

There is a quick way to avoid any of your guests declining your wedding invitation solely because of the cost and this is my biggest tip for wedding inclusivity: Think as your guests would.

Before you send out your invitations, consider what might help them and the options above. Then, you’ve done everything you can to show you care about more than just their attendance. Having thought through answers to their potential questions will also save you time and stress later.

Remember – if cost is an issue for your wedding but you’d still really like some help with planning your big day, let me know. My wedding planning packages are very flexible. I’d love to help you!

Happy planning x